5 Movies That Need The Remake Treatment

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Posted on: September 6th, 2012

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It seems like we’re living in the age of the remake, reboot and prequel. We’ve had a remake of Total Recall. A reboot of the entire Bourne franchise (which somehow decided the Bourne character wasn’t important) and a prequel (sidequel..whatever) to Alien in the form of Prometheus.

Now there will be people who enjoyed these movies (perhaps not really knowing too much about the original) and there will be people violently against them. I mostly fall into the latter category but I try to keep as open a mind as possible. My lack of knowledge of 21 Jump Street meant that I could enjoy the reboot starring Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill on its own merit, because it was hilarious. So I can understand how people who haven’t seen Paul Verhoeven’s Total Recall might enjoy Len Wisemen’s remake…though I can’t understand how anyone has made it through their life without seeing Total Recall – But that’s beside the point.

The same holds true for J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek. I really enjoyed JJ’s recent(ish) reboot, in-part probably because I never really followed any of the Treks religiously (as I was always more of a Star Wars fan).

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star wars vs star trek

You wore the right colour of shirt Trekkie!

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On the flip side of this I’ve also regrettably watching Prometheus, which was made all the more disappointing as Alien was on TV a few days later and really reminded me what Ridley Scott was capable off. I’ve also had to endure countless classic Horror remakes (Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th) which all seemed to decide to run with the tact that building tension is too old fashioned and if someone doesn’t meet a grisly end every 10 minutes or so then the audience will get bored.

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jason Vorhees Friday the 13th Remake

They also decided we shouldn’t fear the unknown and let us see the bad guys way too much. Rookie mistake.

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This all leads me to the question of why don’t they remake movies that need it. Sure, if you remake a movie that was a big commercial success you have a chance of recapturing some of that success but at what cost? The alienation of fans of the original. Spreading the belief that Hollywood is out of original ideas? Having self-righteous pricks write articles like this (*tips hat “Hello”).

There’s a solution to this problem that I’m desperately waiting to see. Remakes of movies that deserve to be remade. If you’re thinking “I’ve no idea what this witty and ruggedly handsome gent is talking about” then I’ll explain.

Have you ever watched a film and thought “Hmmm, that was nearly great” or “Meh”. Or films that have spawned sequel after sequel which has only dampened enthusiasm for the franchise. Franchises that make you wish they would just scrap everything and start again….but do it right this time. Films that most likely don’t have hugely loyal fanbases to get annoyed about said film/franchise being remade. Here’s a few I can think off:

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5. DAREDEVIL

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Daredevil cover

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OK, OK. There’s talk that this is being remade already but to be honest I’m hoping the film rights revert back to Marvel. The Ben Affleck version was beyond woeful. For starters they had Matt Murdoch let a man die. Not only does this contradict what the character stands for but it also makes any scenes of him as a lawyer redundant because we know he’ll take the law into his own hands. Plus Collin Farrell as Bullseye. No, just no.

Give the Man without Fear a movie that shows us why he is awesome, both in and out of the suit. After Matt has taken down a gang we could see the courtroom scenes were he thinks he has put them away for good. Have him question the legal system when they walk free due to technicalities. Have him forced to struggle with the fact that he must uphold the law, even though it would be so easy to break it.

If Marvel gets the rights to this then they can give him his own story (and bar Iron Man 2, there have been too many missteps on the story front of Marvel’s Phase one) which they could also lead to an appearance in the next Avengers movie.

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4. RESIDENT EVIL

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resident evil

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A ha, you might be thinking. “There’s already 20 of these and another on the way”. You’d be kind of right. There have been 4 Resident Evil movies and another on the way. I admit the fact that they are guilty pleasures that I will watch if there’s nothing else on or I want some mindless fun. Which is fair enough – the only problem being that the original games had nothing to do with the fun, nothing!

Sure the films now feature elements from the latter games but on the whole this feels a little gimmicky and too little, too late.

The early games focused on the fear of the unknown, the lack of ammo and how many times they could get something to jump out and scare the shit clean out of you. Remake the first film but set the film in the mansion (or another equally claustrophobic and isolated setting). A place filled with the undead, giant snakes and these bastarding Hunters. It doesn’t even need to be that action heavy. I’ll happily settle for a slow burn horror film that recaptured some of the essence of the original games.

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Resident Evil 1 Barry Burton

Make sure you include Barry Burton… He’s got this!

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Author Info

Dan is just a guy who worked in a video store and took the compliment/insult that he was like “Randal” from “Clerks” a little too literally. Thankfully Bad Haven has given him the chance to blurt out his internal monologues on nerd culture. Proclaiming his love for the things he likes (which include books, movies, games, comics) and utterly destroying the things he doesn’t (pretty much everything else). Dan is an editor, reviewer and feature writer for Bad Haven.

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Comments
  • WoWed

    is this a list of films that shouldn’t be remade? Rush Hour? Face Off? why on earth do those need remakes? DareDevil is the only movie on this list even worthy of a remake. It’s a good concept done badly.

  • Frank Stein

    What – reboot Residet Evil after who knows how many sequels…? And Underworld…? Wow. Clearly whoever wrote this is under the age of 30. In an era where originality is the LAST thing on Hollywood’s mind, the writer of this article decides to encourage them in their rebooting/remaking/regurgitating. Honestly, it’s articles like these which are rampant all over the internet that drive home the mentality that the average movie goer is a dumb bell and will splash out should on one regurgitated work after another. For God’s sake stop telling them its alright to do so. I see the same limited imagination in Hollywood as I see here. Maybe you were both made for each other.

  • http://Geekshizzle.com/ TheFran

    The only remake that will work is a movie franchise that has been dead for a long time. Resident evil wont work because the crappy follow-ons are still making it to the big screen, same with underworld. A good reboot is a reboot that can be done better by either using new technology (spawn) or reaching fresh audiences (like star trek).

  • crashfellow

    Simple. Remakes on popular films are simply the fact that the original made this much money, now the new one can make this much more money. They typically would not touch a property they have no belief in and has no strong fan base as it would cause them to take a risk. Which is the very same reason they like making remakes and don’t like making original films to start with.

    On a similar line of thinking, i would guesstimate this is why they’re releasing 3D ‘remakes’. Less initial costs (films already made), don’t have to repay actors, and all they need to do is a (sometimes) dodgy 3D conversion and away you go. Instant cash for a film on DVD retailing for $9.95

  • http://www.facebook.com/alexkazam Alex Kazam

    Totally agree you ‘A Parasitic Cyst’ with Spawn – loved it at the time but it has aged BADLY. The cgi is especially rubbish.

    • crashfellow

      I pretty much only like the ‘you sent me to hell Jason, I’m here to return to favour’ line. Other then that, it’s just… just terrible.

  • A Parasitic Cyst

    I agree with you about Daredevil and Resident Evil. The main movie that I feel could do with a decent remake is SPAWN! The original was a missed opportunity. With today’s technology and a much better story, less of the sloppiness, less cheese and less moping, but more gore and maggots! And Sam & Twitch. It could be awesome! It wouldn’t be total pile of shit….. Or at the very least it could be a slightly smaller pile of shit. They’d have to stuff John leguizamo back into that suit though as his Clown was the best thing in the original.

    • crashfellow

      Weren’t they gonna make a Sam & Twitch TV show? ohh that’s right, it’s called supernatural.