5 Reasons ‘A Good Day To Die Hard’ Sucked HARD

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Posted on: February 15th, 2013

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So Die Hard 5 is out. Or rather “A Good Day to Die Hard”, but I refuse to call it that for some reason.

It’s like The Avengers and Avengers Assemble, no one is calling it Avengers Assemble.

But I digress, this time we see John McClane travel to Russia to find his wayward son Jack McClane, believing that he has turned to drugs or something worse, only to find that he is in fact some sort of super spy on a mission to stop a nuclear arms heist.

Now Generally I try to be a pretty positive person when I can be, and I’m a fan of the previous Die Hard films, who the hell isn’t right?

I also fully understand that the thing about Die Hard movies, and action movies in general, is that they are meant to be a little ridiculous and over the top, but ultimately entertaining. Die Hard 5 however, kind of sucks. It isn’t a good film, and this is coming from a guy that enjoyed Pootie Tang. I went in with a positive attitude because I love me some McClane, and I tried to pick out the best aspects of the film in order to write about, but unfortunately that proved more difficult than imagined.

So instead, here are the 5 worst things about Die Hard 5. It’s a little ***spoilery***

 

5. John McClane’s Son Is Terrible:

 

If you be my bodyguard I will be your long lost…. dad?

 

The whole thing here is that John is going to Russia to find his son who he thinks is in some sort of trouble. Turns out, he’s a super spy in the midst of a huge operation to stop some Russian’s from attaining nuclear weapons. The thing is though, his son is a dick.I just can’t take this guy seriously.

The relationship between the two is mind bendingly irritating. John shows up in Moscow and naturally, Jack is enraged by this. What’s most annoying though, is that, from the first few minutes of them being in each others company you know exactly how it’s going to pan out. Jack will be annoyed at John for a wee while, John helps him out and eventually they become best mates by the end.

What’s even more annoying is how Jack continually refers to his Dad as “John” or “McClane” just to ram home the point that he doesn’t think he has been much of a father like some douchey angsty teenager. He literally says “Goddammit, McClane” or “Goddammit John” about 500 times. Literally.

They’re really trying to spell it out for us here, and thank God for that because I would have had a hard time keeping up otherwise. Naturally by the end, he ends up calling him “Dad” and things are all hunky dory from then on.

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Comments
  • Just kiddin

    I’m still sticking with the classics (1-3). I hope this was last one because I a
    m tired watching a good classic movie turning into nightmare.

  • Jack McClane

    We made two parody trailers for Die Hard 5 before it came out. People thought it was real. They kicked us off of youtube, and we just got back on. It was highly surprising to find out that the actual movie was more ridiculous than our John Jr. v. Hans Jr. trailer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNqEJczNf4g

    • http://www.facebook.com/Fix06 Mark McCann

      Your trailer was actually way better than what we got from Hollywood. Kudos :)