When you hear the term Super villain you normally associate it with incandescent mad men or women with ethically awry intents that usually involve taking over the world, or at least f*cking a bit of it up, to get what they want at the expense of ‘Joe Normal’. A good thwarting usually comes when: Enter spandex clad heroic types to kick them righteously in the balls and put down their villainous proto-revolution, coup, master crime or outright global power snatch and toss they’re asses in the slammer, all in time for tea.
Super-villains have stuffed the pages of comics for decades but I recently had a thought that began with:
a) what it there were real super-villains?
b) who would they be if we already had them?
The obvious answer is a bunch of bastard politician’s, The Rockerfeller Family, North Korea’s Kim Jong-un, Robert Mugabe, George Bush Jnr. (and Snr.), Mitt Romney (basically bastard politicians), the list goes on and on and where oh where will it stop! And besides all that in depth research required to properly expose those guys would require a serious tone and a someone not nearly as lazy as me to write it. Did I ever mention I’m inherently quite lazy? No? Well I am (but only when it comes to writing. I’m a weight lifting machine!) so stop with the high expectations already, they give me the grot!
So anyway, instead of getting all serious and political; I decided to keep things light by pointing out pop cultural would be super-villains instead. Which are slightly lesser targets than the bastardly global machinators mentioned above. But they’re still a bunch of nasty little shits out to fuck up your day and make you suffer an apoplectic revelation later to be voiced and quickly deleted on your social network of choice.
These guys aren’t much up there with King Pin or The Joker level’s of pernicious, but they definitely register in and around The Shocker or Mister Freeze level’s of annoying (and there isn’t a ‘super’ out there who hasn’t had at least minor ball-ache from those guys).
So without further ado, here’s BAD HAVEN’s top five POP CULTURE SUPER VILLAIN’s. Feel free to chime in and comment if you agree/disagree:
5. RUSH LIMBAUGH
Fat mouthed political commentator, radio Jock and ceegaaar enjoyer Rush Limbaugh has been ramming his rhetoric down the common man’s throat since the mid 80′s and likes to spew right wing wankery at any given opportunity with the ferocity of a guy who half understands what he’s talking about and is really frustrated about that other half that he doesn’t. Whether it be crapping on Obama, denouncing Michael J. Fox as a Parkinson’s exaggerator, naming Women’s Right’s Activist Sandra Fluke as a ‘slut’ and a ‘Prostitute’, shaming war opposed veterans and most recently accusing Christopher Nolan of creating Bane in Dark Knight Rises as a way to subterfuge-ally undermine Mitt Romney, Limbaugh is a big mouth self appointed vox populi and nasty bit’o work with a big stinking agenda.
Comic Book Counterpart: THE PSYCHO MAN
The Psycho-Man is a little bastard dictator from Marvel Comic’s Microverse who possesses advanced intelligence and in experimental and combat situations uses a portable emotion-controlling device called the “Control-Box” that projects a ray capable of stimulating the centers of emotion within a person’s brain (Limbaugh does this just by talking). The device has settings allowing it to trigger fear; doubt, and hate at varying degrees of intensity (sound familiar?). The only difference is Psycho Man is tiny. The same can not be said for Limbaugh…..
Big MouthTags: jersey shore, laurie penny, michael bay, rupert murdoch, rush limbaugh, supervillains