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By: Katie “the Vamp Queen” Dalton
It’s an age old question; why do women love vampires so much? Where does this fixation come from? How the hell can men ever compare to vamps? All valid questions for which I decided to seek answers. Mind you this is my opinion and opinions from the people I polled. Let me tell you, even I was surprised with the results, so let’s take a look.
Vampires are mythological or folkloric beings who subsist by feeding on the life essence (generally in the form of blood) of living creatures, regardless of whether they are undead or a living person. Although vampiric entities have been recorded in many cultures, and may go back to “prehistoric times”, the term vampire was not popularized until the early 18th century, after an influx of vampire superstition into Western Europe from areas where vampire legends were frequent, such as the Balkans and Eastern Europe, although local variants were also known by different names, such as vrykolakasin Greece and strigoi in Romania. This increased level of vampire superstition in Europe led to mass hysteria and in some cases resulted in corpses actually being staked and people being accused of vampirism.
While even folkloric vampires of the Balkans and Eastern Europe had a wide range of appearances ranging from nearly human to bloated rotting corpses, it was the success of John Polidori’s 1819 novella The Vampyre that established the archetype of charismatic and sophisticated vampire; it is arguably the most influential vampire work of the early 19th century, inspiring such works as Varney the Vampire and eventually Dracula.”
Legend or fact, the hard truth of the matter remains that vampires and sex sell to women, the two going neatly hand in hand. Vampires have become so popular and so sexualized since the nineteenth century that Hollywood and other filmmakers have tapped these myths from their earliest days. Here’s my list of reasons women love these hunky bloodsuckers.
1. It’s hard to not love a man in evening wear.
Turn on any classic vampire movie with Bela Lugosi and you’ll probably see the men donning classy black evening wear. Cape or no cape I could care less, bring’em if ya got’em. But what lady doesn’t love the idea of waking up to a hunky man dressed to the nines lurking over her bed and ready to drink her blood? (Ok, when I write it that way, it does sound a bit creeper), but restraining orders aside, evening wear has major sex appeal when vamps rock them.
2. The Art of Biting
Us ladies LOVE the idea of Mr. Tall Dark and smexy grabbing us by the hair, pulling our neck to the side and biting. The idea of giving ourselves completely to someone inthat small way holds so much sex appeal we burn up inside just thinking about it. This is why Paranormal romance books have such a big following, not only do we love the idea, we love reading the juicy details of how it all goes down. We buy into the fantasy because it’s a much needed release from whatever’s going on in our day to day lives. And whether men believe it or not, we get that it is just that, a fantasy. And who doesn’t love a good romp on the dark side now and then?
But back to the act itself, They don’t just chow down and go to town. Be it through aphrodisiacs or some other stimulant, vampires always manage to make the bite a sensual experience. I say the slower the better. Draw it out, slow, and make me pant for what I know is coming.
3. Seduce me with Smex.
Vampires are practically synonymous with seduction. Being stalked like prey across a room can be all the foreplay a gal needs before getting down to it. The predator’s walk alone makes us weak in the knees. The idea that we can gather every ounce of a man’s attention, total and complete focus, to the point of animal madness is beyond smexy.The eyes especially add to this element, be they natural color or undead blackness. Vampires can give you “the look” and the world will fade away, crowed room be damned! And don’t get me started on the accents. Vampires frequently come with some sort of smexy accent that is sheer auditory porn. Now if I can only get them to talk dirty to me in that accent! If they turn on the seduction (which isn’t hard to do) the panties fly off in a heartbeat.
4. Such a dirty bad boy!
Vampires are the ultimate bad boys, fact. Throw on some leathers and you’ve got yourself one dirty boy, who needs to be spanked. Daily. No other creature of the lore can compete with the badness that is vamps. They are Known to act first and not give a damn later. They ooze power and destruction thus adding to the overall appeal. We may not end up marrying a bad boy, but trust me, we want to play with one. What woman wouldn’t want a man by her side that can protect her one second and then seduce her the next?
5. Protective much?
This isn’t to say vampires aren’t the worst in the lore, but these guys take “protecting” to a whole new level. With barbaric caveman mentalities, vamps are known for their over the top protection of the women they love. And once (if ever) a vamp truly loves someone, there’s no going back. Ever. It’s pretty much till death do us part, and in this case that can be a very, very long time. All women want their man to protect them, but most vamps can try a woman’s patience in this department. Still it’s nice to know a super-strong beefcake is looking out for you. At all times…and when you least expect it.
6. To sparkle or not to sparkle
Oh frel yes. Are you a sexy vamp that can rock my world ten times to Sunday? Then by the name of the undead gods bring on the sparkle!
Also, just a side note here, ladies love the bling-bling. Therefore we love shiny things. Rubbing down on a sexy vamp with 6 pack abs is hot. A vamp with some shiny bling covering them from head to toe…my hands might stayed glued to his body. Call us shallow if you want but we love anything pretty and sometimes a little pretty goes a long way.
Men can hate on the sparkle factor but that’s either out of jealousy, homosexuality issues or little man complex. Don’t hate on it just cause you don’t get it. Twilight for example was not written with “men” in mind, though I do know a few who have read it and didn’t think it awful. And without naming names (Dan, Al S., Uriah, James, Chris, Mike) I applaud these men for not letting stereotypes get in the way of a fantasy book.
7. Gimme that O!
Fact: Vampires give the best orgasms. Period. 
Books, TV, movies you name it, vampires bring it better than anyone else. I know some of you might be thinking “How do you know this Katie?” and you’d be right to ask. While I may not have any personal experiences with vampires and sex I do buy into the belief that given all the other qualities these creatures possess the best sex of ones life HAS to fall in here too. Should I someday be proven wrong, I vow to the lore that I will never again read or watch anything about vampires again. But as my friend Daniel recently said, “The women, while frightened, are all squirming and withering and anticipating the forbidden, sexual release.”
Hear! Hear! *pounds gavel* With a vampire comes out-of-this-world mind-blowing sex. Hence, the best “O” of a lady’s life. I’ll buy this one hook line and sinker!
8. Show me the money.
With hundreds to thousands of years to perfect all their skills, vampires make the best lovers, fighters, protectors and providers. Playing the stock market much? Yup, pretty much every vamp you read about has invested over the years in stocks and bonds, to casinos and real-estate. You name it. Wealth and comfort are always on a vampire’s mind, the best of everything will cover every square inch of a vamps home(s). Does this make women shallow for liking a man that has the funds to keep us taken care of? No, if we love someone we would be happy living in a box on the side of the freeway holding our cardboard sign, but what it does do is give us that little peace of mind that money provides. A home. A vehicle. Food and hot water. Women as a whole are planners, thinkers and nesters. (For the most part lol)
9. So much raw Strength
Known to have superhuman senses, strength, agility, endurance and speed the sheer power vampires possess only adds tenfold to an already boiling-over sex pot. Got stuck in a sticky situation with some bad guys? Need a hand getting out of that underground dungeon? Just call in the vamps and problem solved!
These tuff guys are no joke in the strength department. A single vampire alone could wipe out just about any human army, and loads of immortal ones. Plus thinking about how many push ups they can do just gets me all hot and bothered. Bring it on boys!
10. Hot sticky…blood
Vampires make drinking blood look like a natural and intoxicating act. It seems so reasonable that blood could be a main source of nutrition. With shows like True Blood, where the vampires either drink it from bottle or tap it from the source, you could see why so many of us would be more then eager to cut open a vein in the name of the undead. Blood just looks cool when vamps drink it; It’s like the forbidden fruit and it makes us want it even more. Blood can be just as good as a nice Chianti for a vamp.
What surprised me the most from all this was the amount of men who stepped up to the plate, offering up ideas and insight from their perspectives. Some of you men get it, the rest are lost in space I’m afraid. lol. The main goal of my article was to shed some light on the subject and hopefully open minds to the unknown and undead world. I for one like to think it could be a possibility but I’m a little off my rocker and solid proof will be the final judgment. Until then I’ll sit back, whip out my fangs and take part in a bit of role play with my favorite man muffin. *winks*